shesayswhatshesays

 This two months of lockdown has changed me but i really don't know for good or for bad.  I have come out like a very different person. I think have finally broken my shell my insecurities and I'm just being and doing what I am and what I feel like. One of the best thing this 2 month lockdown did to me was I have finally accepted the fact like the more you care about what people think about you the more you get anxiety and inferior complex issues.  This lockdown just changed a part of me and boom I really feel as if I'm altogether changed into a better person atleast at my perspective. I have started caring less about people and started concentrating more on me.  I'm no more insecure about my place in everyone's life. Like why should I care if I really matter to them or not. I'm really precious to my family and my closest people and that's what is important.  Honestly I have finally accepted myself in general.  I don't care what everyone feels or says, I...

 Initially, when we start doing this particular thing we got highly motivated for, uk like making all those fake scenarios in our head what if we become like the best person doing that thing? Even before starting to do it we imagine things hell lot of times, even before knowing if we could do it successfully in a try Or it's gonna be a long journey.. All we think is about the after party the after success kinda thing and not about what the journey is gonna be about, and yea absolutely not about how we gonna start, implement our creative ideas or maybe be consistent with it.  Even now when I'm penning this down all I'm thinking about what's outcome is gonna be like..  Talking about which makes me high with anxiety , like honestly even me, I never think about the ups and downs of the journey or maybe facing emotional crisis in my life.  Just when I think yea this is what I want , that's when my boat takes a whirling turn and turn things different,.. Just when I get no...

 To all the fictional movies,        You always have an important message for everyone out there in the real world but not everything is as easy as you show up. Because reel can't become real in just a span of 3 hours. No one absolutely no one get so motivated just after those 180 minutes. Eventually people develop on their own. It's a long journey with ups and down. Not everything is achieved so easily!  Not every love story has a beautiful end in real life. Movies just create this illusion of a perfect love story and then when it doesn't happen in real life we just end up getting depressed questioning ourself if we are right or am I the problem here.  Talking about which life isn't fun and adventurous always sometimes it's just plain . Nobody brings happiness in your life you need to slug each and everyday hard , take efforts to make this work! 

 Sometimes no not sometimes but always whenever I get motivated to do something just like becoming an Instagram model.. Shush I get motivated and then the very next I'm like who and why do I have to like get so ready and click pictures or whatever it is. I mean where do everyone on social media get so much motivation from. I am the kinda person who definitely thinks about it but too lazy to implement. I rather think I should focus on my writing skills.  Many times people around me do say oh god! Girl you so cool you should really try doing modeling and stuff.. But then who will let them know I'm just a bed baby! I hate getting out of bed. For me it's too much. Alas! I don't even know how to apply makeup just like the models!  Writing things is my kinda meditation, it relaxes me rather it takes my mind off from all the bullshit around.  I guess I'm trying too much or I have fomo but, I really need to sit down and think about what am I gonna do  People do say I ...